Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
