Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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