is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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