i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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