No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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