Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
