Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
