just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
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Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
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You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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