I think my vagina is haunted
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
