Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
