Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
