I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
