why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
