i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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