Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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