He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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