and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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