But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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