Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
