Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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