I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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