I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize