Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize