Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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