If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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