We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
