Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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