Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
