He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize