I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
