The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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