I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
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True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
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Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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