is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
