Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
