Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
