oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's shark week go big or go home
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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