smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
