Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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