history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...