Do vagina's smell?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
