the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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