with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
