Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
