a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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