im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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