You just made me feel so damn special
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
