and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
