PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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