I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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