She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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