Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
