I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize